I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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