Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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