pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
