This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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