2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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