I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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