now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
