i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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