oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
