So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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