A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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