i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
