There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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