I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
