bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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