I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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