we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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