Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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