I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
