And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
