Just took my morning after pill in the library
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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