She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
