The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
