Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Bring me that man meat
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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