If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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