Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
