"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
