the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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