you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
