That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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