Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
