he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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