I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
