and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
