Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
