And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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