Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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