I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
