And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
