i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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