She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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