She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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