No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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