roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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