this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
