Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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