I want to stick my p in your. b.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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