her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
false alarm, still single
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
