So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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