I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
