dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
