I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
